I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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