I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
This house was built for laser tag.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Randomize
