My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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