And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
