so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
