When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
