I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
