Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Vodka?
Forever.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
