Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
