Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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