I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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