It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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