Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
