You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
