You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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