It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
