I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
