your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
