just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
