but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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