dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Me too!
Someone shit on the floor
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Randomize
