all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
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