I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
