Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
