The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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