yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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