just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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