He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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