he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
