He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
