it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
