My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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