Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
