i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
