She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
