I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
