You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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