did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
