it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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