i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Randomize
