I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
