I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
