I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
