I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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