If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
