Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
