I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
