First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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