"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Randomize
