Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
