carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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