So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
