Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Randomize
