cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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