I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
