He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
