I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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