i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
PANTIES FOUND
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