Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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