make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
