dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
