Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Randomize
