I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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