i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
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