I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
