No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize